Love Crime : What Happens When Love Kills You?

Sunday, August 09, 2009

article on love and heartache

You never felt so alone. You are confined with nothing but your thoughts. These thoughts do not even make you feel any better. Some happy thoughts from "what had been" twist into a funnel of emptiness. The painful ones calmly embed themselves on to nothingness like faded and almost transparent photographs. Sometimes they swirl so fast in your head. A heavy mass of cloud, dark and ominous, makes exhaustion not a matter of choice.

Sometimes a single memory plays slowly in your mind. It makes you recall what you had felt with that person and the life you might have had with that person. You could not distinctly separate happiness from pain. Remembering how happy you had been made everything so confusing like you have been inside a doodle of patterns, intricately tangled and curved in different directions that Fate itself could no longer retrace each step backward. You feel like you have been played upon ruthlessly, savagely.

You are a prisoner of this only companion you have which does not exist by breathing oxygen but exists through breathing in your emotions. It lives through your pain, fears, sadness, hopes, and happiness. It persists through the complexity of what you feel. It takes the strongest control against you. In your lowest, your captor is the strongest. You are subjected to what you feel. You can not deny it. You guess there is no way out. The essence of your captor lies within you; which you think is something beyond your control.

That servitude does not do you any justice for it was you who had been wronged. It was you who had been oppressed. Love detached itself from you.

“Am I cursed?” You start to ask that question.

How would you know? It felt so good that it could have lasted until the end of time. But when it was gone, you find yourself locked in this stream of melancholic thoughts.

Maybe, it is a crime not letting go when something is shoved back on your face and not accepting what is ought to happen. It is a crime to hold on. If all of these were wrong, you decide to let it be. You don't want to be right when holding on could be your bravest fight.

However, in this cell called Solitude, you are hoping Love would come back to bail you out. Someday you keep your hopes up, when Love is brave enough it will fight for you. You take a chance to wait for it. Your hope. Your happiness.

Did any of you felt like you’ve been killed by Love? Did any of you felt like Love will still be your afterlife?

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  1. as what most people say: love makes the world go round.

    (0_o) hay . ..



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